“Out of Love” (2022), 20-foot by 10-foot digital canvas (small-scale exported version shown here)

This work begins and ends with how terrified and saddened I am as I realize how many cycles humans fall into, and how even the worst of us were children acting out of love, before becoming locked in cycles which evolve from an innocent love. For the entire year this one was in progress, I never stopped seeing new cycles hurting more people in the world around me. I still see new ones every week. It renders me speechless, so I rendered a wordless thing, “Out of Love.”

Note on 20 June 2022: This is my first mural-scale painting made from scratch completely digitally. I am too much of a traditional oil painter at heart to have felt comfortable with the shortcuts that a digital space permits: I have copied nothing, traced nothing, cloned nothing. Consequently, the file is over 46 GB, and I have been unsuccessfully trying to export it as an image for over a day. I am STILL trying, and I WILL figure it out. For now, please enjoy these small screenshots of my mammoth painting. I want to show you “Out of Love” on 20 June 2022.

Note on 25 June 2022: I DID IT. I am still included the screenshots below, but the first image on this page is a PNG image successfully exported from a TIF file exported from a thrice reduced version of a twice reduced version of a once reduced version of a version of the original painting file in which I flattened all my hundreds of layers (and sublayers, and sub-sublayers, etc…) into one layer. (We got off easy! I’d have fought much, much harder to be able to share with you more than just screenshots of a painting which I have been nursing for about a year.)

Before and After my spinal fusion surgery (oil on canvas; 24″ x 30″). Click on either image for higher resolution.

My sculptural study for my second painting of this diptych:

“Bonus” round – I show my face:

P.S. to whoever it is who stole After – can you please give it back? Check out my contact page and reach out. I will be less angry than happy to have it back (pun intended)!

“Free M” (Double entendre intended, of course.)

My first street art/graffiti! No photo references – just Graffiti Alley (of Baltimore, Maryland), spray paints from Michael’s (of Towson, Maryland), some rain (of the sunny variety), and two hours (of my 22nd birthday).

I recognize self-expression as a basic human right, not a privilege. However, it was a privilege indeed to sit down with many who are being actively denied this right, right before creating this work. I hope to return this honor by channeling the expressions of those who are no longer at liberty to safely do so themselves. I pray for change.

This is probably painted over by now, but don’t worry – more is coming.

My love and thanks to the one who caught those photos of me – Joey Massaro, my partner and best friend of over four years, and, God willing, many more.